Honest conversation: ABA — what's your experience been?
Posted May 10, 2026
This is one of the most charged topics in the autism community, and I want to make space for an honest, respectful thread about it.
A few things I think are true at the same time:
- ABA is the most insurance-covered, most accessible therapy in many parts of the U.S., and for many families it's the only thing offered the day of diagnosis.
- Many autistic adults who went through intensive ABA as children describe lasting harm — being taught to suppress natural responses, to mask, to comply at the expense of their own needs.
- Modern ABA practices vary widely. "Naturalistic," play-based, child-led approaches look very different from older compliance-focused programs.
- Parents making this decision are rarely doing so with full information, and often without alternatives that insurance covers.
I'd genuinely like to hear:
- From autistic adults: what was your experience, and what should parents understand before signing on?
- From parents: what questions did you ask the provider that you wish you'd asked sooner? What red flags or green flags did you learn to spot?
- From providers: how has the field changed, and what does ethical practice look like to you?
No pile-ons. We can hold real disagreement here without flattening anyone.