Independent living vs. supported living — how did your family decide?
Posted May 10, 2026
We're staring down a decision that doesn't have a clean answer. Our daughter is 19. She has skills, she has dreams, she also has real support needs. The options on the table:
- Stay home indefinitely, with supports brought in as needed.
- Apartment with a roommate / live-in support, partially funded through a Medicaid waiver.
- Group home / structured residential, more support but less autonomy.
- Transitional program (1–2 year residential life-skills program), then reassess.
Every option has tradeoffs. The lowest-support option carries the most risk. The highest-support option carries the most loss of autonomy. The middle options depend on funding that's uncertain and roommates who may or may not work out.
What I'd love to hear from this community:
- For families who've been through this: how did you involve your adult child in the decision? What did they want vs. what felt safe?
- For autistic adults living in different arrangements: what made the difference between feeling supported and feeling controlled?
- For anyone who used a Medicaid waiver to fund supports — how long did it take, and was it worth the bureaucratic battle?