Co-parenting an autistic child when you and your partner disagree on approach
Posted May 10, 2026
My partner and I love our daughter the same amount but we are on completely different pages about how to support her.
I lean toward following her lead, accommodating sensory needs, going slow. My partner worries we're "not pushing enough" and that the world won't accommodate her later, so we have to. We've had the same argument, in different costumes, about a hundred different daily decisions.
I know we're not the only household where this happens. A few things we've tried:
- Picking one issue at a time instead of debating philosophy.
- Going to a session with her therapist together — hearing it from a third party landed differently.
- Accepting we can be different parents to her without one of us being "wrong."
Where we still get stuck: school decisions, screen time, and how much to push social situations.
For parents who've navigated this — what helped you find common ground? Did couples therapy help? Did you ever just have to agree to disagree on something?